How to Help Someone You Love Start Therapy

We all love someone who could benefit from therapy, but what do we do when the people we love don’t realize they should seek help? Talking to someone about going to therapy can be sensitive, but approaching it with care and empathy can make a big difference. Here are some tips on how to have that conversation:

1. Choose the Right Time: Find a private, calm moment when the person is receptive and not overwhelmed by other stressors. In the midst of a crisis might not be the best time to tell someone they need help.

2. Be Empathetic: Start with empathy. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been going through a tough time lately, and I care about you. I’m here to support you.”

3. Normalize Therapy: Frame therapy as a positive and common step. You could say, “Many people find that talking to a therapist helps them through hard times. It’s helpful to have a professional who’s there to help you work through things.”

4. Focus on Support: Emphasize that seeking therapy is a sign of strength and self-care. Mention that therapy can provide new tools and perspectives for dealing with challenges.

5. Share Personal Experiences: If appropriate, share your own experiences with therapy, or those of people you know, to show that it's a normal and beneficial process.

6. Offer Help: Offer to help find a therapist, make the first appointment, or even go with them if they’re nervous. Sometimes the logistics can be a barrier, and your support can make a big difference.

7. Respect Their Pace: Understand that they might need time to consider the idea. Avoid pressuring them, and let them know you’re available if they want to talk more about it.

8. Be Patient and Understanding: Acknowledge their feelings and fears about therapy, and be supportive regardless of their decision.

Here's an example of how you might start the conversation:

“Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling really down (or stressed, anxious, overwhelmed) lately, and I’m concerned about you. I know that therapy can be really helpful for managing these kinds of feelings. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? I can help you find one if you’d like. No pressure—just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you.”

Your care and support can make a significant difference in their decision-making process. Sometimes the person you love may feel like having “permission” to seek help makes it easier to take that first step. If the person you’re concerned about is currently on a college campus, you can still have this conversation, but rather than talking about finding a therapist, talk to them about going to the on-campus counseling center. You can also adapt this conversation to younger children in  your care by telling them all of these things, but rather than offering to help find a therapist, let them know that you’re going to find one for them.